“You Look So Good, Did You Lose Weight?”

Why These Comments Actually Suck

It’s a sentence we’ve all heard (maybe even said) at some point:

“You look so good! Did you lose weight?”

It might sound like a compliment on the surface. But if you’re someone healing your relationship with food and your body, or supporting someone who is, these words pack quite the punch.

As an eating disorder therapist, I hear stories all the time about how these seemingly “nice” comments can throw someone back into a spiral of self-doubt, overthinking, or disordered behaviors. Let’s unpack why that is, and what we can say (or think) instead.

Why Comments on Weight Can Be So Triggering

To name a few:

👉 They reinforce the idea that thinness equals worth or thinness is morally superior.

Even when someone means well, weight-focused compliments imply that thinner = better. For someone in recovery, this can validate harmful behaviors or make it feel like weight loss is the only way to be praised.

👉 You don’t know the full story.

Weight loss can happen for so many reasons — illness, stress, grief, disordered eating. Complimenting someone’s body without knowing what they’re going through can unintentionally celebrate something harmful.

👉 They teach us our bodies are always up for discussion.

Even positive body comments send the message that our appearance is always being watched and evaluated. That awareness can feel exhausting and unsafe.

"Most of us think that our children learn to hate their body and to fear certain foods from social media, but, the truth is that in many cases the seed is planted at home from trusted family members. " - Luisa Mannering

Let's break the cycle for future generations.

What You Can Say Instead (That’s Actually Supportive)

✨ “It’s so good to see you."

✨ “You have such great energy lately.”

✨ “I love being around you, you always brighten my day.”

✨ "I can always be myself around you."

Compliment their energy, their vibe, their laugh, not their body.

Their body = their business.

If You’re Healing, Here’s How to Cope With These Comments

❤️ Pause and notice what came up for you.

Did your heart sink? Did you feel shame, guilt, or pressure? Maybe your eating disorder voice told you you're doing a good job and you feel relief?

Your reaction is valid. These comments are layered and often bring up a ton of old beliefs.

❤️ Remind yourself: your worth is not in your body.

Whether your body is changing or not, you are inherently worthy. Period.

❤️ Use a grounding mantra.

Try: “A part of me feels activated, and I can be with that part in compassion.”

Or: “My body is not up for commentary today.”

❤️ You don’t have to explain yourself.

You are never obligated to justify your body or your journey. Boundaries are allowed.

You are enough. Today, tomorrow, always.

Final Thoughts

Healing your relationship with food and your body in a world that’s still deeply fixated on weight? That’s radical. It’s also hard.

Those casual body comments (even from loved ones) can sting.

But in therapy, we work to build the tools, self-trust, and inner resilience to move through them with more clarity, more choice, and more compassion.

If this post struck a nerve, you’re not alone. And you don’t have to figure it all out by yourself.

Schedule Consult Today!

Click here to get started with a free 15 minute phone consult to learn more about how I can support you with healing your relationship with food and body image.