Why do I feel so out of control around food?
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- 5 min read
6 Signs You Might Be Struggling with Disordered Eating and Body Image (even if it “doesn’t seem that bad”)
If you’ve ever Googled:
"Why do I feel so out of control around food?"
“Why do I feel guilty after I eat?”
“Why am I always thinking about food?”
“Is this an eating disorder or am I just bad at self-control?”
“How do I stop hating my body?"
…this post is for you.
A lot of people assume that struggling with food or body image has to look extreme to “count.” But the truth? Most struggles with food and body image are quiet. High-functioning. Normalized. Even praised.
So if you’ve been wondering, is my experience really that bad? Let’s talk about it.
1. You Feel Out of Control Around Food & Can't Stop Thinking about Food
You might be struggling with food anxiety or disordered eating if:
You’re constantly planning your next meal
You feel stressed about what will be available at social events
You “save up” calories during the day before dinner plans
You obsessively track macros or ingredients
You mentally calculate everything you eat
It can feel like your brain is always running a background app labeled: “Am I doing this right?”
A healthy relationship with food doesn’t require constant monitoring, bargaining, or negotiation. Our culture has conditioned us to fear food/certain foods. We all developed the "food police" which is that voice that tries to limit what foods you eat and how much you eat. Theraypy can help you challenge this voice, and eventually get rid of it altogether.
2. You Feel Guilt or Shame After Eating
Food guilt is one of the biggest signs that your relationship with food may be strained.
This might sound like:
“I was good all day until I ruined it.”
“I need to be better tomorrow.”
“I don’t deserve dessert.”
“I’ll work this off.”
If eating feels morally loaded (like you’re either disciplined/good or failing/bad) that’s not just “being health-conscious.” That’s diet culture wiring.
Food doesn’t have a moral value. You don’t earn it. And you don’t need to punish yourself for it. Repeat after me, "Food isn't good or bad. Food is just food. I can eat foods for nutritional value and for pleasure".
3. Your Mood Is Deeply Tied to the Scale or the Mirror
Body image issues often show up as:
Your entire day shifting based on how you look
Avoiding photos
Obsessively checking mirrors
Body checking (grabbing, pinching, comparing)
Canceling plans because you “feel fat”
If your body size or shape determines whether you feel worthy, confident, or allowed to take up space... that’s a painful place to live.
And it’s exhausting. You deserve better. You are worthy of good care, belonging, and love.
4. You’re Always “About to Start Over”
Chronic dieting can look like:
“I’ll be good starting Monday.”
Cycling between restriction and overeating
Cutting out entire food groups
Feeling out of control around foods you normally restrict
Starting and stopping new wellness plans constantly
If you’re stuck in the restrict → crave → overeat → shame → restrict cycle, that’s not a lack of willpower.
That’s a nervous system responding to deprivation. Intuitive eating (IE) is all about breaking this diet cycle. IE was created by two dietitians and is a non-diet approach to health that is all about rebuilding trust with your body.
5. You’re “Healthy”… But It Doesn’t Feel Peaceful
This one is sneaky.
Maybe you:
Eat “clean”
Exercise consistently
Avoid processed foods
Get compliments on your discipline
But internally?
You feel rigid.
Social events feel stressful.
You panic if your routine changes.
Rest feels unsafe.
If your health habits are driven by fear instead of flexibility, that matters. Because we know that chronic stress has more severe consequences for our health.
6. You Don’t Think It’s “Bad Enough” to Get Help
This is one of the biggest signs.
You tell yourself:
“Other people have it worse.”
“I’m not underweight.”
“I don’t binge.”
“I don’t purge.”
“I’m just trying to be healthy.”
You don’t have to hit a crisis point to deserve support.
Disordered eating exists on a spectrum. And struggling silently still counts. I always say "we all have a body, and we all have a relationship to our bodies, and unfortunately that relationship feels strained for so many of us, for so many reasons". Talking about food and body can feel so vulnerable, and it is usually the missing link to finally feeling at peace with ourselves.
What Struggling with Food and Body Image Actually Means
Struggling doesn’t automatically mean you meet full diagnostic criteria for an eating disorder.
But it might mean:
Your relationship with food feels stressful.
Your body feels like a constant problem to fix.
You don’t trust yourself around food.
You’re exhausted from thinking about it all the time.
And that’s something worth paying attention to.
So... Why does this happen?
Food and body image issues don’t appear out of nowhere.
They’re often connected to:
Diet culture
Perfectionism
Trauma or relational wounds
A need for control
Anxiety
Growing up in a body-conscious household
Feeling “not enough” in other areas of life
Food becomes a coping strategy. Control becomes safety. Shrinking becomes protection.
It makes sense. Even if it’s hurting you now. Intent vs impact: positive intent, harmful impact.
So… Is This What’s Happening to Me?
If you’re reading this and feeling seen (and maybe a little uncomfortable), that’s not an accident.
You don’t have to label yourself. You don’t have to decide anything today. You don’t have to commit to taking action.
But you can get curious.
You can ask:
What is this costing me?
What would it feel like to not think about food all day?
What would it be like to feel neutral (or even kind) toward my body?
If You’re in Madison, WI (or Anywhere in Wisconsin)
I’m a therapist who specializes in eating disorders, disordered eating, and body image healing. I work with women who look high-functioning on the outside, but feel stuck in stressful cycles with food and low self-worth on the inside.
My approach integrates:
Internal Family Systems (understanding protective parts)
Self-compassion
CBT and ACT tools
Nervous system regulation
Gentle boundary work
You don’t have to wait until it gets worse.
You can schedule a free intro call and we can talk about what’s been happening. No pressure, no commitment.
Final Reminder
If you’ve been wondering, “Is this normal?”
Here’s a better question:
Does it feel peaceful?
Because you deserve a relationship with food and your body that feels steady, flexible, and safe.
And if it doesn’t, that’s not a personal failure.
It’s something we can work with.