What I Misunderstood About Restriction—Until I Became an Eating Disorder Therapist

Before I became an eating disorder therapist, I thought I understood what restriction meant. It seemed simple: eating less, skipping meals, maybe dieting too intensely. But now, after working with so many clients in recovery, I’ve realized restriction is a lot more layered—and often more sneaky—than I ever imagined.

1. Restriction Isn't Just Physical

Restriction isn’t always about physically not eating. Sometimes, it's about how we eat and what we believe about what we’re eating.

You can eat a full meal and still be restricting if you’re doing it with shame, guilt, or rigid rules. That’s called mental restriction, and it can be just as powerful—if not more so—than physical restriction.

An example of this: You are craving a cookie, but feel guilt or shame about eating cookies, so instead you choose to eat an apple. Technically you ate something, but you mentally restricted.

2. The Body Feels What the Mind Believes

Even if you’re technically “eating enough,” your body doesn’t feel safe if your brain is stuck in fear.

Thoughts like “I shouldn't be eating this,” “I have to make up for this later,” or “how is this going to affect my body?” keep your nervous system in a state of stress, and that can interrupt healing, even in recovery.

These negative, critical thoughts don't exactly communicate safety in our bodies, and over time can lead to chronic stress.

3. Restriction Can Be Disguised as “Healthy”

This was a big one for me. I used to think clean eating or cutting out entire food groups was just a wellness choice. But when those choices are driven by fear, control, or a desire to shrink ourselves, they’re often rooted in restriction, even if they look “healthy” on the surface.

An example of this: You decide you are going to cut out carbohydrates and try a new "Keto Diet" because you want to lose weight. This choice is fueled by a desire to shrink your body, so while some may praise this decision, it's restriction and not a health-promoting behavior.

This is dyresgulating to your nervous system because our bodies cannot discern the difference between food restriction and "danger".

4. Recovery Isn’t Just About Eating More

True healing isn’t just about adding more food to your plate. It's about untangling your relationship to food. That means addressing the guilt, the rules, the food hierarchy, the self-worth tied to your eating. And that part takes time (lot of time), patience, and compassion.

If you’re reading this and realizing that maybe restriction has been showing up in ways you didn’t expect, you’re not alone. It’s something I misunderstood too, until I started walking alongside people in recovery every day.

And I’ve seen how powerful healing can be when we give ourselves unconditional permission to eat without shame.

Therapy for Restrictive Eating Disorders

If you’re ready to explore your own relationship with food, or you're wondering if restriction might still be lingering in your recovery, I’m here. You can book a free consult here --->

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