How Getting My Nose Pierced Healed a Part of My Inner Child

What does a simple nose piercing have to do with your inner child? Learn how honoring “little you” can bring authenticity, joy, and freedom.

Why Self-Expression Felt Scary

When I was younger, self-expression felt scary. For so many kids, fitting in felt crucial. Of course I wanted to feel like I belonged and feel well-liked by others. So, in many ways I learned to play it safe, to keep other people happy, and to listen to their voices louder than my own.

I can really struggle with making decisions on my own, and maybe this is part of that? What does my best friend think, what does my partner think, what does my family think? Yes, checking in with others before making a big decision can be really helpful, and at what point do I lose sight of my own opinion, desires, wants, and voice?

Listening to my Inner Child

Fast forward to adulthood. One day, I found myself circling back to wanting a nose piercing. I've always thought they are so cute! Out of nowhere, “Little Lexi” showed up in my mind, tugging on my sleeve and whispering: Can we please do it now?

Initially, all the old thoughts and fears of "what will people think of me?" rose to the surface. I started asking around to gather people's opinions and definitely received some, "No! What are you thinking?!" comments. I'll admit, I even went to ChatGPT to ask an AI robot if I should get the piercing or not. I really craved that external validation and affirmation.

ChatGPT gave me a pretty helpful Thought Experiment:

"If no one else had a say—no coworkers, no family, no strangers at Starbucks—Would you get it?

If your answer is “yeah, I think I would…”That’s your answer. It’s your face, your expression, your choice."

So this time around, I listened to "Little Lexi".

I booked the appointment. I sat in the chair. I felt the quick pinch of the needle. And just like that, I had a tiny nose stud glimmering back at me in the mirror. Huge thanks to my bestie Morgan at Icedd Upp!

It wasn’t just about the jewelry. It was about finally saying yes to a part of me that had been told “no” for so long. It was about proving to myself that I can make choices simply because they feel authentic to me—not because they make sense to anyone else. They don't have to make sense to anyone else.

That little act of self-expression felt like a love note to my inner child. She wanted it, she got it, and she was beaming - even through the tears of having a needle shoved through her nose lol.

What IFS Taught Me About This Moment

In Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, we talk about connecting with our younger parts - those inner children who still carry unmet needs or unexpressed desires.

Sometimes healing looks deep and emotional. But sometimes it’s playful, even sparkly.

Getting my nose pierced was a reminder that honoring our inner child doesn’t always mean reprocessing big pain. Sometimes, it’s giving them a voice in small, joyful ways:

• Saying yes to a style choice or new hair color you’ve always wanted to try.

• Picking the “fun” option, not just the practical one.

• Letting yourself play, even when it feels silly.

I challenged my fear of rejection and allowed myself to be rejected by people close to me, and my confidence did not waver. Did it hurt? Yes. Did I need their approval? No.

And what an empowering realization to come to.

Your Turn: Honoring Little You

Think back: what did your younger self dream of doing, but was maybe told not to?

Is there a way you could honor that dream today, even in a small way?

It doesn’t have to be a piercing. Maybe it’s wearing that bold color you love. Maybe it’s signing up for a dance class. Maybe it’s just giving yourself permission to be a little more you. Authentic self-expression can look different for everyone!

Sometimes the most healing thing we can do is show our inner child that we’re listening now.

If your inner child is craving a little more space to be heard, therapy can be a powerful way to listen. Learn more about working together here!